Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich Debate - SOUTH PARK

A giant douche and a turd sandwich engage in a televised debate to become South Park Elementary’s mascot. “Douche and Turd“ S08 Subscribe to South Park: Watch more South Park: About South Park: South Park is the Emmy and Peabody-award winning animated series co-created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about four boys living in one screwed-up Colorado mountain town. Between local and global tragedies, as well as parental and celebrity interference, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny manage to have themselves a time. Watch full episodes of South Park: Shop official South Park merch: Follow South Park: Instagram: Twitter: Facebook: #SouthPark #SouthParkS08 INT. DEBATE THEATER - NIGHT A cool graphic with South Park public access appears across the screen saying ’DEBATE 2004’ as a narrator’s voice is heard. NARRATOR This is DEBATE 2004. With your host, Jim Lehrer. This is a setting just like all the debates we have seen on television. Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich stand behind podiums and Jim Lehrer sits at a table, wearing a suit in front of them. South Park students and many of their parents sit in the audience. JIM LEHRER (to camera) Welcome to the cable access televised debate between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich. We will start with Giant Douche. Sir, Some students and parents are reluctant to have a giant douche represent them. What do you say to those people? GIANT DOUCHE Jim, first of all I would like to thank you for monitoring this debate. And I would like to thank all of the students and their parents for coming. CARTMAN Oh SUCK UP. (calling out) SUUCK UUP!!! PARENT Shhh! CARTMAN What? That’s an obvious suck up move. GIANT DOUCHE I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich. TURD SANDWICH YOU’RE A TURD SANDWICH. GIANT DOUCHE No, sir... If you’ll pardon me YOU are in fact the turd sand- TURD SANDWICH YOU’RE a turd sandwich. GIANT DOUCHE Sir, you are a turd sandwich. TURD SANDWICH You’re a turd sandwich. JIM LEHRER Uh, Turd Sandwich I WILL ask you not to speak out of turn. TURD SANDWICH I’m sorry, Jim. JIM LEHRER Anyway, as I was saying... Uh... Wait I forgot what I was saying. TURD SANDWICH Ha! What a douche! JIM LEHRER Alright, Turd Sandwich, this next question is for you. How should South Park Elementary enforce its laws of conduct for young athletes during sporting events? Turd Sandwich stands silent for several seconds and then finally blurts out- TURD SANDWICH You know, my opponent wouldn’t even know the answer to that question. If you asked him that SAME question he could NOT ANSWER it! He would stand around and just babble on and on about nothing until finally he was saved by the buzz-- BZZZZZZT. JIM LEHRER Your time is up, Turd