Natalie Portman

Chris Parnell: We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman: Hello. Parnell: So, Natalie, what’s the day in life of Natalie Portman like? Portman: Do you really want to know? Parnell: Yes, tell us… Portman: I don’t sleep motherfucker off that yak and durban doin’ 120 gettin’ head while I’m swervin’ Seth Meyers: Damn Natalie you a crazy chick Portman: Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick I bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker Guys: What you want Natalie Portman: to drink and fight Guys: what you need Natalie Portman: to fuck all night Don’t test when I’m crazy on that airplane glue put my foot down your throat till you shit in my shoe leave you screaming pay for my dry cleaning fuck your man It’s my name that he’s screamin’ Parnell: I’m sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated? Portman: I never said I was a role model. Parnell: What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them? Portman: All the kids lookin’ up to me can suck my dick It’s Portman mother fucker drink till I’m sick slit your throat and poor nitrous down the hole watch you laugh and cry while I laugh you die and all the dudes you know I’m talkin to you Guys: we love you Natalie Portman: I wanna fuck you too P is for Portman P is for pussy! i’ll kill your fuckin dog for fun so don’t push me Parnell: Well, Natalie I’m surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate. Portman: Well there’s a lot you may not know about me. Parnell: Really? Such as? When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day I cheated every test and snorted all the yay I gotta a def posse and you gotta buncha dudes I sit right down on your face and take a shit Andy Samberg: Natalie you are a bad ass biiiiiiiitch (hell yeah!) and I always pay for your dry cleanin when башку снесло))