What if Nintendo’s “Miitomo“ app... had lyrics?
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LYRICS:
Welcome to Miitomo, it’s a mobile app for Miis
Like a slightly altered Miiverse, but you don’t play on your Wiis
You’ll find it warm and soothing, even though it makes you cringe
Make a mii that looks just like you (unless you are a ginge)
Once you’ve got the app and you have signed up and you’ve joined
It bribes you like your grandma with some candy and with coins
Talk about what bread you like and why you love your cat,
And find out what bread people like and why they love their cat
You can dress up like a spaceman or a Ninja or a dancer,
But it mostly asks you questions and you basically just answer
Nintendo first released it in the nation of Japan
But the core mechanic’s perfect for big-mouth Americans
’Cause you talk about yourself, talk and talk about yourself
Pretend that you are listening, then talk about yourself
Keep on talkin’ about yourself, talk and talk about yourself
And try some clothes and buy some clothes and but mostly you just talk about yourself, about your self, you jerk off... yes, you.
Nintendo has a tragic view of social interaction
It’s not just in Miitomo, you can see it when Streetpassin’
If you want to find out more about a Mii who isn’t you
Just shove candy in their face (this is not what humans do)
If you want special item like a t-shirt or a dress,
You must hoist your friends and drop them to a cruel pachinko death
You’ll add a bunch of people so your mii can level up
But then spend all of your candy doing research on your crush
And then talk about yourself, talk and talk about yourself
And stalk your crush, and comment gush, but then back to yourself
Keep on talkin’ bout yourself, talk and talk about yourself
And make some creepy pictures, but mostly you just talk about yourself
You can use bad words in a Nintendo product… finally!
But who the f*** cares? it’s already losing popularity…
Miitomo.
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