George Carlin - Modern Man(720p)

I’m a modern man.. a man for the millennium - digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded. I’ve been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading.. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give ya a gigabyte.. in a nano-second. I’m new waaave, but I’m old school - and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired heat-seeking warm-hearted cool customer.. voice activated and biodegradeable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace.. so I’m interactive I’m hyperactive and from tiime to tiime I’m radioactive.. Behind the eight-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I’m on point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I’ve got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top but under the radar. A high concept low profile medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart-bomb. A top-gun bottom-feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps. I run victory laps. I’m a totally on-going big-foot slam-dunk rain-maker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic.. out of rehab ..and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down. Coz I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta blockers. I’m a non-believer and an overachiever. Laid-back, but fashion-forward. Up-front down-home low-rent high-maintainance. Super-sized long-lasting high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last. I’m a hands-on foot-loose knee-jerk head-case, prematurely post-traumatic and I have a love-child who sends me hate mail. But I’m feeling, I’m caring. I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food. I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender-specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the F-word in my email and the software on my hard drive is hard-core, no soft-porn. I bought a microwave at a mini-mall I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. This is my own perfect transcription that’s a work in progress and was made for my own personal use (learning this whole routine). Enjoy. - Volound