The Talking fake suntan blues ( original song )

A request from Mr Hermiston ! Talking fake suntan blues .....a wee song about building up the xmas tan .... 🙂 Ma ham houghs are looking a wee bit thin better pump some steroids in my skin is textured like cookeen better hit the sunbed scene shave ma head until am bald wear ma shorts when its cauld spend mair time looking in the mirror than ma wife does cooking dinner take - aways come thick and fast how long can this feckin giro last two hunder inch Television screen canny find a film ave never seen the gas bill is a thoosand pound keep the heatin on fur the hot dog hound 80 pounds worth of product on her hair off tae the disco with her arse near bare hee haw ho hum I walk like a duck wi a sticky oot bum chest puffed oot like a cushy doo who am a talking aboot me or you ?