How to Be Your Own Best Friend | Olivia Ong | TEDxUniMelb

My name is Dr. Olivia Ong and in 2008, when I was still just a resident doctor, I was hit by a car traveling sixty kilometres an hour. The impact rendered me a paraplegic, and I was told I’d never walk again. That moment changed my life. Before the accident I was a stressed-out high achiever. Born into a traditional Asian household, I learned that good enough was never good enough. It’s an idea shared by many of us in demanding, high workload positions. Did you know that more than half of all female physicians feel burnt out? I was one of them. When something went wrong the first person I blamed was myself. My accident changed that because learning to walk again is a slow process, literally one step at a time. It’s self-compassion embodied, and your recovery is never as fast or as complete as you hope it will be. There were times when I felt like giving up, and when that happened there was one thing I would do that would help me carry on by reminding myself that I was my own best friend. Put your hand on your heart and take three deep breaths. The science behind it is that the hand on the heart leads to the release of oxytocin into the bloodstream. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy. The breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system. Try it yourself. The sooner we develop self-compassion and learn the value of being our own best friend, the sooner the world can heal itself. Dr Olivia Ong is a pain and rehabilitation physician who graduated with Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery and Bachelor of Medical Science from The University of Melbourne in 2004, and an expert in burnout and resilience. She is also an International Award Winning Author, Global Keynote Speaker, Award Winning Physician Entrepreneur and Healthcare Thought Leader. In 2008, when Olivia was still a junior doctor, a catastrophic car accident rendered her a paraplegic, and she was told she will never walk again. After an intensive three-year recovery process, she walked again. Olivia then went on to become a qualified dual trained pain and rehabilitation physician in Melbourne, Australia. Olivia also founded the Heart-Centred Method Institute to help doctors cultivate self-compassion so that they can thrive after burnout. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at