Drugs are Bad, Mkay? - SOUTH PARK

Mr. Mackey stops by to give the class a few crucial facts about drugs. Namely, that they’re bad. “Ike’s Wee Wee“ S02 Subscribe to South Park: Watch more South Park: About South Park: South Park is the Emmy and Peabody-award winning animated series co-created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about four boys living in one screwed-up Colorado mountain town. Between local and global tragedies, as well as parental and celebrity interference, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny manage to have themselves a time. Watch full episodes of South Park: Shop official South Park merch: Follow South Park: Instagram: Twitter: Facebook: #SouthPark #SouthParkS02 SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY - DAY Establishing. INT. CLASSROOM - DAY Mr. Garrison stands in front of the chalkboard. It reads “Drugs are Bad“. The students are in their seats. MR. GARRISON Okay, children, let’s take our seats. This morning we’re going to have a special lecture from your school counselor, Mr. Mackey. The counselor steps in front of Mr. Garrison. STAN (under his breath) Booooo. COUNSELOR Now, now who was that? That is not appropriate behavior. Mkay? STAN (In Mr. Mackey’s voice) I’m sorry, Mr. Mackey, mkay? COUNSELOR Oh, that’s okay. Just don’t let it happen again. KYLE (In Mr. Mackey’s voice) We won’t let it happen again, Mr. Mackey, mkay? The boys laugh merrily. COUNSELOR Okay, okay that’s fine. CARTMAN (In Mr. Mackey’s voice) Mkay? COUNSELOR Now, uh, as your counselor, I’m here to tell you about drugs and alcohol and why they are bad, mkay? The kids just sit there and blink. COUNSELOR So, first of all... Smokin’s bad... You shouldn’t smoke. And uh, alcohol is bad, you shouldn’t drink alcohol. And as for drugs, well, drugs are bad you shouldn’t do drugs. Okay, that about wraps up my introduction, now are there any questions? Yes, Stan? STAN Why do dogs have cold noses? COUNSELOR Uh... I’m not sure. STAN Oh. COUNSELOR Now, uh, let’s focus our discussion first on Marijuana. Marijuana is bad. And it also has a very distinct smell, mkay? I’m going to pass around just a little tiny bit, and I want you all to take a smell, so you know when someone is smokin’ Marijuana near you. He hands a small tray with a bud of pot on it to the first kid on the end. (Pip). Pip smells it, grimaces, then passes it on. COUNSELOR (cont’d) Okay, Just take a smell, pass it on, and when it gets back up to me, we’ll finish talking about it. In the meantime, I want to get into alcohol a little... Okay, Uh, alcohol is bad... If you drink alcohol... As the counselor AD LIBs the rest of his speech, the boys whisper to each other. KYLE Hey, are you guys gonna come to Ike’s party this weekend? STAN Your little brother is having a party? Why, is it his birthday? KYLE No, It’s his Bris. CARTMAN What the hell is a Bris? KYLE I dunno. But there’s gonna be lots of food and a band! CARTMAN Oh, kick ass. I wanna have a Bris! COUNSELOR ...and so that’s why alcohol is bad. Has that marijuana made it back up here yet? (No response) No? Okay, let’s talk about LSD... uh children, LSD is bad. it’s a drug made famous by John Lennon and Paul McCartney... STAN Hey, are we supposed to get your little brother presents for a Bris? KYLE Uh... I’m not sure. STAN Well, dude, you better find out. COUNSELOR Boys are you paying attention? STAN (Mr. Mackey’s voice) Sorry, Mr. Mackey, mkay? COUNSELOR Okay. Now children, has that marijuana made it around yet? No response. COUNSELOR Uh, who has the marijuana now? (Silence) Okay, whoever has the marijuana just pass it up to the front row. No response. COUNSELOR Oh oh.