Thief steals 49 iPhones in front of police and casually walks off

Steps to make an anti-racist crime free utopia: 1. Instruct employees not to tackle shoplifters to prevent violence and racism 2. Instruct the police not to arrest shoplifters to prevent violence and racism 3. ? 4. Every problem solved forever Sadly, what step 3 actually is remains a mystery to everyone, as evidenced by this latest brazen robbery in Oakland, California. The criminal mastermind, in desperate need of iPhones to feed his starving family, walked into the Apple Store, swiped 49 phones that were on display, stuffed them into his novelty oversized pants, walked out the door without incident, walked past the police also without incident, got in his car without incident, and drove off. The incident was filmed with one of the unstolen iPhones. The phones are largely useless, as they are deliberately disabled (and that’s not a joke about the latest iOS). However, they are still worth tens of thousands of dollars on the black market for parts. This is the fourth robbery of Oakland Apple stores since New Year’s Eve. It’s barely February. Fortunately, Governor Gavin Newsom is on the case, and has announced ‘a targeted law enforcement surge operation to crack down on crime.’ Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering most of the stores have closed down because they’ve got nothing left to steal.
Back to Top