The Ultimate BARD Rap | D&D Master Class

THE BARD - Ultimate Raps of D&D šŸŽ²šŸŽ¤ A trio of dorks making Comedy Rap videos about tabletops, roleplay and fandom. Join the Party for our first Master Class. āž¤ Stream or Download THE ULTIMATE BARD RAP Spotify: Bandcamp (FREE): Apple Music: iTunes: ā€œIā€™m in the Monster Manual under Mojo Elemental!ā€œ The best Class in Dungeons and Dragons is here! Our tabletop comedy song about Bards, College of Hip-Hop. Cash your Charisma checks now for a ā€™70s-inspired, bumper-bass, Bardic Beatdown of a diss track. ā–¼ THE 3 HOLLABACK NERDS AREā€¦ ā–¼ āž¤ Nerd by Night ā€“ ART, COSPLAY & VIDEO: || āž¤ DJ ThinK ā€“ MUSIC & MIXING: an elusive fey creature with no Twitter āž¤ Rapping Bard ā€“ VOCALS & LYRICS: ā–¼ OFFICIAL HOLLABACK NERDS ā–¼ BECOME A HOLLABACKER ON PATREON (yes, thatā€™s what we called it) for Behind-The-Scenes, Karaoke Tracks, Lyric Breakdowns and more! ā–ŗ LYRICS Select your Class! Bard Bardā€¦ Whoā€™d wanna be a Bard Inspirationā€™s the question? Bards are the answer Raising spirits harder than a Necromancer The only Class fluent in Common and Sweet Talk My race is Hypeman and my speed Moonwalk A Charisma cannon, call me Casanova My d20 makes your pantaloons go supernova I make Goblins gawk and Beholders behold Bards ainā€™t silvertongued! We won the fucking gold Hereā€™s a little limerick to limit your lifespan When a Bard breaks bones itā€™s a poetry slam Barbarian taught me how to go Berserk Iā€™m a beat poet ā€™bout to bruise your body of work Iā€™m a spell-slinging song-singing jack-of-all trades I Buff by talking tough, can even bluff some healing aid With sexy deadly medleys, a Bard is instrumental Iā€™m in the Monster Manual under Mojo Elemental Fighterā€™s the muscle, beat you down in brawls Wizardā€™s the brain, drive you up the walls Rogueā€™s the backbone, holding us all tall Clericā€™s the heart, but Bards are the balls Lute solo! Two hands! One hand! Mage hand No hands! Donā€™t ask how I did that Iā€™m insult to injury, with Arcane artillery Make history with witchery, my Faerie Fireā€™s so glittery Tasha is my warmup act, make you bust a rib Everywhereā€™s my turf with Leomundā€™s Tiny Crib My lyrics are critical, Healing Words every round Call me Feather Fall, Iā€™ll never let my team down Donā€™t choke! Rhymes sicker than a Stinking Cloud Speak With Plants, we can talk after youā€™ve been ploughed Born to disrupt, donā€™t you dare get physical I interrupt, I make your strikes all pitiful Watch me corrupt, change luck when I get lyrical Dealing Psychic Damage with every syllable Fighting talkā€™s my weapon for derring-do and dealing I donā€™t do much damage but I hurt their feelings Vicious Mockery, Iā€™m here to cause grief Mustā€™ve multi-classed Butcher I got so much beef I need a volunteer, yes, you, in the back Hello, Iā€™m an Orc. And I attack Hey Orc! You dork! Iā€™ll make you take that swing back You got Deflect Missiles? ā€™bout to catch so much flak CUTTING WORDS Your brainā€™s a desert going through a thought drought (ORC: What?) A Feeblemind would give you more to think about (ORC: I missed!) Your Class Proficiency? Itā€™s in simplicity (ORC: Hey!) Every word Buffs your Aura of Stupidity (ORC: Just die!) Your train of thought is now a derailed wreck Every time you blink is an Intelligence Check (ORC: Rude!) Admit you submit, you canā€™t hit shit with my wit Now, make like a banana and go away (ORC: Aww...) And thatā€™s why you Bard! Weā€™re the Dukes of Fluke I mustā€™ve rolled a Tiefling, all these Hellish Rebukes Iā€™m the Master-Class! Sharper ears than an Elf Let me take this d8, I just inspired myself
Back to Top