THE BARD - Ultimate Raps of D&D š²š¤ A trio of dorks making Comedy Rap videos about tabletops, roleplay and fandom. Join the Party for our first Master Class.
ā¤ Stream or Download THE ULTIMATE BARD RAP
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āIām in the Monster Manual under Mojo Elemental!ā
The best Class in Dungeons and Dragons is here! Our tabletop comedy song about Bards, College of Hip-Hop. Cash your Charisma checks now for a ā70s-inspired, bumper-bass, Bardic Beatdown of a diss track.
ā¼ THE 3 HOLLABACK NERDS AREā¦ ā¼
ā¤ Nerd by Night ā ART, COSPLAY & VIDEO: ||
ā¤ DJ ThinK ā MUSIC & MIXING: an elusive fey creature with no Twitter
ā¤ Rapping Bard ā VOCALS & LYRICS:
ā¼ OFFICIAL HOLLABACK NERDS ā¼
BECOME A HOLLABACKER ON PATREON (yes, thatās what we called it) for Behind-The-Scenes, Karaoke Tracks, Lyric Breakdowns and more!
āŗ LYRICS
Select your Class! Bard
Bardā¦ Whoād wanna be a Bard
Inspirationās the question? Bards are the answer
Raising spirits harder than a Necromancer
The only Class fluent in Common and Sweet Talk
My race is Hypeman and my speed Moonwalk
A Charisma cannon, call me Casanova
My d20 makes your pantaloons go supernova
I make Goblins gawk and Beholders behold
Bards aināt silvertongued! We won the fucking gold
Hereās a little limerick to limit your lifespan
When a Bard breaks bones itās a poetry slam
Barbarian taught me how to go Berserk
Iām a beat poet ābout to bruise your body of work
Iām a spell-slinging song-singing jack-of-all trades
I Buff by talking tough, can even bluff some healing aid
With sexy deadly medleys, a Bard is instrumental
Iām in the Monster Manual under Mojo Elemental
Fighterās the muscle, beat you down in brawls
Wizardās the brain, drive you up the walls
Rogueās the backbone, holding us all tall
Clericās the heart, but Bards are the balls
Lute solo! Two hands! One hand! Mage hand
No hands! Donāt ask how I did that
Iām insult to injury, with Arcane artillery
Make history with witchery, my Faerie Fireās so glittery
Tasha is my warmup act, make you bust a rib
Everywhereās my turf with Leomundās Tiny Crib
My lyrics are critical, Healing Words every round
Call me Feather Fall, Iāll never let my team down
Donāt choke! Rhymes sicker than a Stinking Cloud
Speak With Plants, we can talk after youāve been ploughed
Born to disrupt, donāt you dare get physical
I interrupt, I make your strikes all pitiful
Watch me corrupt, change luck when I get lyrical
Dealing Psychic Damage with every syllable
Fighting talkās my weapon for derring-do and dealing
I donāt do much damage but I hurt their feelings
Vicious Mockery, Iām here to cause grief
Mustāve multi-classed Butcher I got so much beef
I need a volunteer, yes, you, in the back
Hello, Iām an Orc. And I attack
Hey Orc! You dork! Iāll make you take that swing back
You got Deflect Missiles? ābout to catch so much flak
CUTTING WORDS
Your brainās a desert going through a thought drought (ORC: What?)
A Feeblemind would give you more to think about (ORC: I missed!)
Your Class Proficiency? Itās in simplicity (ORC: Hey!)
Every word Buffs your Aura of Stupidity (ORC: Just die!)
Your train of thought is now a derailed wreck
Every time you blink is an Intelligence Check (ORC: Rude!)
Admit you submit, you canāt hit shit with my wit
Now, make like a banana and go away (ORC: Aww...)
And thatās why you Bard! Weāre the Dukes of Fluke
I mustāve rolled a Tiefling, all these Hellish Rebukes
Iām the Master-Class! Sharper ears than an Elf
Let me take this d8, I just inspired myself
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