English Teacher - The World’s Biggest Paving Slab

Listen to World’s Biggest Paving Slab here: Director: Claryn Chong Concept: Lily Fontaine Production Company: Lowkey Films Creative Commissioner: Sarah Tucker DOP: Lawrence Hughes Lyrics: I am the world’s biggest paving slab But no one can walk over me I am the Pendle Witches, John Simm And I am Lee Ingleby I am the Bank of Dave, Golden Postbox And the festival of R&B I’m not the terrorist of Talbot Street But I have apocalyptic dreams You should see my armoury I am the world’s biggest paving slab So watch your fucking feet I am the world’s biggest paving slab But I sit here quietly No one ever looks down at the ground Yeah, no one ever notices me I wish I were born a stone And made Wycoller my home Haunting with Charlotte Bronte I’m not the terrorist of Talbot street But I think that ruins have beauty You should see my armoury You should walk all over me I am the world’s biggest paving slab And the world’s smallest celebrity Sideboob Pendle Hill will hide herself in bed Behind the clouds that gather ‘round her head But clouds collapse, and then they go “You won’t believe how beautiful she is when it has snowed“ When it has snowed When it has snowed When it has snowed Friedrich will come out of his grave Shelley and Byron will be on their way Begging for my postal code To help me find the words to describe Greater than great, go with sublime They’ll be filling up my answerphone And it’s all because of how beautiful she is when it has snowed You take every sunset And somehow make it sexier With your haunted asymmetry Someone’s brought a camera crew They’re exploring your history Now you’re on the news And it’s driving me insane ‘Cause everybody wants to climb you And they don’t even know my name I’m your Boulsworth baby You’re a giant to me Do I crave your company Or a few of your extra feet? Not even a mountain Yet I still can’t make you move And as the sun sets on your sideboob So I fall for you