Solar Flare wipes out the music industry

One day there’s going to be a solar flare. What Wikipedia calls ‘an intense localised eruption of electromagnetic radiation in the Sun’s atmosphere’. It’s going to erase Spotify and all its one hundred million songs and 4,116,890 podcast episodes. In the blink of an eye there will be no Deezer, no Apple Music, no YouTube. TikTok will be nothing but a bad, sped-up memory. We’ll sit in silence, staring up at the Sun, wondering why it would do this to us after all the summers we spent worshiping it and wishing that we hadn’t sold our CD collection to musicMagpie, wondering if we removed the minute and the hour hands from the clock on the kitchen wall, would our copy of ’30 Something’ still play? Don’t let the Sun catch you out. Don’t get shafted by electromagnetic radiation. Buy something tangibly Jim Bob today. Whether it’s on vinyl, CD or cassette or what the heck, all three! Gaze in wonderment at the incredible Mark Reynolds artwork in your hands. Feel the quality of the paper, the card, marvel at the colours as you read the sort of lyrics that the artificial intelligentsia could only dream of writing. Hang the Jim Bob 2024 calendar on your wall (next to the 30 Something clock). You’ll never miss an appointment again. Be both amazed and appalled at the cover versions Jim Bob had thought it acceptable to record for that second CD. Remember the good times by rewinding the cassette with a pencil. The world hasn’t ended. Even if it sometimes feels like it has. We can do this. ‘We need to believe that we’re in this together’– Jim Bob, track 6 side one, ‘We Need to try Harder (We Need to do Better)’